蒼穹未央

My wife is still mad at me from last weekend when I came home drunk. She said, "Lips that touch liquor will never touch mine." Five minutes later she said, "What are you thinking about?" I said, "I'm trying to decide between twelve-year-old scotch and fifty-year-old lips!"

我老婆到現在還在氣我上週末喝醉酒回家,她告訴我"沾過酒後你就別想吻我"五分鐘過後,她又說"你到底在想什麼?"我告訴她"我在思考到底是要喝12年的陳年蘇格蘭酒還是吻50年的陳年香唇呢?"

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate, but,if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

如果你的父親是窮人,那是你的命.若你的岳父是窮人,那就是你的愚蠢了。

Since light travels faster than sound,people appear bright until you hear them speak.

因為光速比音速快. 所以你常會發覺人們在開口講話之前是顯得很聰明的.

後記補充一則：

上星期看電影時，正好在放映Hachiko : A Dog’s Story《忠犬小八》，內子每次看此戲，總是會掬上幾把眼淚，讓我都不好詼諧幽默一下，其實裡面有一段美式笑話：(Jess 拿熱狗餵小八時……，Karl凸他……)

Karl: Where did he come from?

Jess: Just showed up. Come on, boy, eat it.

Karl: You’d better be careful, Hachi. He’s got hot dogs that are older than you.

Jess: Hmm, don’t listen to him.

按：聽說美國人在 7-11 看到不新鮮的熱狗會說：This hot dog is older than me!  (呵呵，熱狗的歲數還比人大，那真是太不新鮮了！)